


The Rose Hedge

by tygermine



Series: Merthur Drabbles [30]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Drabble, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-29 03:25:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19821565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tygermine/pseuds/tygermine
Summary: Gender Reveal parties are tacky





	The Rose Hedge

“So… you want me to be an utter wanker to you in public, so you can make a very public scene and break up with me, again, in public, so that you can what…?”

Freya sank a little lower in her seat, hunching her shoulders. “I need to buy some more time off the radar so I can see how things go with Will.”

“Wait, you’re not official yet? Freya, it’s been six months.”

“I know.” She dug out a box of cigarettes and a lighter from her bag. “I just can’t seem to find the right time to introduce him to my family.” 

Merlin reached across the table and helped himself to a cigarette. “Jesus Freya, when will the right time be?”

“I just need my family to think he’s a catch.”

Merlin choked on inhalation and sputtered. 

“If you make a scene in front of my family,” she continued, leaning across the table to thump Merlin on the back. “Then Will will come off smelling like a rose.”

“You do remember that your cousin has a dubiously legal arsenal in his basement, right? I do not want to get shot over this.”

Freya waved a hand between them. “You and me? We can pull this off. Brilliantly.”

“I will send you my medical bills.”

The thing is, it didn’t go exactly to plan.

Merlin didn’t mean to meet Arthur at the buffet. Who hosts a buffet for a gender reveal anyway? Who is still hosting gender reveals in general?  
So really, it wasn’t Merlin’s fault.

Arthur just had this way of smiling that made Merlin’s knees go watery. 

He really hadn’t meant to drop to the ground behind the rose hedge and unbuckle Arthur’s trousers.

Arthur, for his part, couldn’t keep his gasps to himself. How was he supposed to know that Merlin liked having his hair grabbed?   
No one is supposed to moan in such a filthy way with a cock tickling their tonsils.

And really, how the hell were they supposed to suss out that the rose hedge was fake and was part of the whole reveal event.

That’s just tacky.

But now, in the aftermath, everyone knew what Arthur’s face looked like when he orgasmed. Everyone knew Merlin was walking awkwardly because his pants were full of come.

And everyone knew that Freya was the unlucky girl who dated the two-timing bastard. 

At least it looks like she’s moving on with someone nice and respectable, like Will, who escorted her to the pub down the road to give her a shoulder to cry on.


End file.
